Monday quote

Speech marks are evil.

Peter J. Williams.

Monday quote

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and fewer still to ignore someone completely.

Monday quote

Punching someone in the face is on my bucket list. If I have to, I’ll punch the nurse at my death bed.

Maggie Spiegel (age 11).

10 rules for dealing with crazy people

Number 8 is important to remember.

10 rules for dealing with crazy people

1. If you don't have to deal with a crazy person, don't.
2. You can't outsmart crazy. You also can't fix crazy. (You could outcrazy it, but that makes you crazy too.)
3. When you get in a contest of wills with a crazy person, you've already lost.
4. The crazy person doesn't have as much to lose as you.
5. Your desired outcome is to get away from the crazy person.
6. You have no idea what the crazy person's desired outcome is.
7. The crazy person sees anything you have done as justification for what she's about to do.
8. Anything nice you do for the crazy person, she will use as ammunition later.
9. The crazy person sees any outcome as vindication.
10. When you start caring what the crazy person thinks, you're joining her in her craziness.

Monday quote

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Anonymous.

Photography for dummies

Photographer Ivars Gravlejs provides 78 simple rules for taking photographs. Here are some examples.

Patenting patents

Amazon patents taking a photograph against a white background.

In a patent simply called Studio arrangement Amazon took IP ownership on what we all call shooting against a seamless white backdrop.

It might seem like satire but the patent is here.

So if patents are going to be given for the bleeding obvious and concepts that have been used for decades then I am going to apply for 2 patents that will make me millions!

The first patent is for the concept of filing patents. Everyone who intends to file a patent will be breaching my patent. Licensing to apply for patents will be permitted on payment of a small fee.

The second patent is for the concept of licensing, of receiving payment when someone wishes to use a patented concept. Thus no one will be able to receive any royalties for patented concepts without violating my patent which, again, will be permitted for a small payment of 1% of the agreed license fee.

Monday quote

In those days he was wiser than he is now—he used to frequently take my advice.

Winston Churchill (1874–1965).

Africa for Norway

 

Africa raising funds for Norwegians. Length 3:45.

Source.

Letters to the editor

The Sacred Sandwich prints several letters to the editor after Christianity Today publishes Paul's letter to the Galatians.

From 2009. Most amusing.

---

If Paul’s Epistle to the Galatians was Published in Christianity Today

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Dear Christianity Today:

In response to Paul D. Apostle’s article about the Galatian church in your January issue, I have to say how appalled I am by the unchristian tone of this hit piece. Why the negativity? Has he been to the Galatian church recently? I happen to know some of the people at that church, and they are the most loving, caring people I’ve ever met.

Phyllis Snodgrass; Ann Arbor, MI

————————————————————————
Dear Editor:

How arrogant of Mr. Apostle to think he has the right to judge these people and label them accursed. Isn’t that God’s job? Regardless of this circumcision issue, these Galatians believe in Jesus just as much as he does, and it is very Pharisaical to condemn them just because they differ on such a secondary issue. Personally, I don’t want a sharp instrument anywhere near my zipper, but that doesn’t give me the right to judge how someone else follows Christ. Can’t we just focus on our common commitment to Christ and furthering His kingdom, instead of tearing down fellow believers over petty doctrinal matters?

Ed Bilgeway; Tonganoxie, KS

————————————————————————–
Read more

Monday quote

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

Monday quote

An avid golfer, Kim Jong-Il routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one, according to North Korean state media. Reasonable odds of doing this in one round are around 1 in 2,560,000,000,000,000,000 or the equivalent of being struck by lightning over 100 thousand times a second during a typical three hour game. This explains Kim's hair problems.

James Wanliss

Humour, wit, satire,...

Types of humour from Henry Fowler’s 1906 Modern English Usage. He wrote,

So much has been written upon the nature of some of these words, and upon the distinctions between pairs or trios among them (wit and humour, sarcasm and irony and satite), that it would be both presumptuous and unnecessary to attempt a further disquisition. But a sort of tabular statement may be of service against some popular misconceptions. No definition of the words is offered, but for each its motive or aim, its province, its method or means, and its proper audience, are specified. The constant confusion between sarcasm, satire and irony, as well as that now less common between wit and humour, seems to justify this mechanical device of parallel classification; but it will be of use only to those who wish for help in determining which is the word that they really want.

Device	Motive or aim	Province	Method or means	Audience
Humour	Discovery	Human nature	Observation	The sympathetic
Wit	Throwing light	Words and ideas	Surprise	The intelligent
Satire	Amendment	Morals and manners	Accentuation	The self-satisfied
Sarcasm	Inflicting pain	Faults and foibles	Inversion	Victim and bystander
Invective	Discredit	Misconduct	Direct statement	The public
Irony	Exclusiveness	Statement of facts	Mystification	An inner circle
Cynicism	Self-justification	Morals	Exposure of nakedness	The respectable
Sardonic	Self-relief	Adversity	Pessimism	The self

Monday quote

You are entitled to your opinion...

But your opinion is a D.

Quiz stumper

I found this amusing

Though I think the question would be even better formulated thus:

If you choose an answer this question at random, what is the chance you will be correct?

1. 0%
2. 25%
3. 25%
4. 50%

2011 Top 10

I have only recently seen the cartoon Coffee with Jesus. It's theologically variable, and the commentary is somewhat wry. I found this strip insightful.

Click to read

Monday quote

Women. They are a complete mystery.

Stephen Hawking (1942–).

Determinism debate

Source

Monday quote

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Douglas Adams (1952–2001), Mostly Harmless.

You have to give this to the French

Apparently there are less vegetarians and vegans in France than England. Not that surprising. Seemingly peer-pressure makes it more difficult to be a vegetarian in France. Nevertheless, this amused me:

a chef in Normandy insisted the omelette he had served was still vegetarian even though it was covered in "just a foie gras sauce".